Spontaneous, earnest, non-ironic utterance of "when I was your age." (Bonus level: No one under 18 resides in your household.) (Triple word score: this having happened often enough that it's no longer cringe-inducing.)
Getting carded is a big, honking deal, brightening your whole week.
Running out of sympathy cards. (Bonus level: using a coupon when you restock them.)
Feeling out-of-sorts when Collective Soul is played by the "classic rock" or "oldies" station. (Bonus level: knowing who originally coined the phrase.) (Triple word score: pronouncing her name correctly.)
Knowing what "TPMS" stands for, because the got-dang light has come on so many times.
A certain awareness of one's...fiber consumption. (Bonus level: discussion with a parental unit about theirs.) (Triple word score: this having happened often enough that it's no longer cringe-inducing.)
No longer having to Google how to plunge the toilet. (Bonus level: Having to plunge is literally no sweat.) (Triple word score: You have achieved unclogging in ten seconds or less.)
Somebody else has commented on your fluency with medical terms. (Bonus level: Knowing which cholesterol is the good kind.) (Triple word score: Knowing which blood pressure number points to your level of chronic stress.)
Getting excited when a doctor hands you one of those cards that help pay for the new drug they've just prescribed. (Bonus level: You have enough of those cards to necessitate their own section in your coupon file.) (Triple word score: You know what your deductible is.) (Quintuple mega super word score: You know because somebody met it this year.)
Gray hair that you treat with chemicals, or have a professional treat with chemicals. (Bonus level: Gray hair ornery enough to require multiple chemical processes.) (Triple word score: You've quit it with the nasty, smelly chemicals, because there's just no point anymore.)
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
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