Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Signs you might be older than you used to be:

Spontaneous, earnest, non-ironic utterance of  "when I was your age."  (Bonus level:  No one under 18 resides in your household.)  (Triple word score:  this having happened often enough that it's no longer cringe-inducing.)

Getting carded is a big, honking deal, brightening your whole week. 

Running out of sympathy cards.  (Bonus level:  using a coupon when you restock them.)

Feeling out-of-sorts when Collective Soul is played by the "classic rock" or "oldies" station.  (Bonus level:  knowing who originally coined the phrase.)  (Triple word score:  pronouncing her name correctly.)

Knowing what "TPMS" stands for, because the got-dang light has come on so many times.

A certain awareness of one's...fiber consumption.  (Bonus level:  discussion with a parental unit about theirs.)  (Triple word score: this having happened often enough that it's no longer cringe-inducing.) 

No longer having to Google how to plunge the toilet.  (Bonus level: Having to plunge is literally no sweat.)  (Triple word score:  You have achieved unclogging in ten seconds or less.)

Somebody else has commented on your fluency with medical terms.  (Bonus level:  Knowing which cholesterol is the good kind.)  (Triple word score:  Knowing which blood pressure number points to your level of chronic stress.)

Getting excited when a doctor hands you one of those cards that help pay for the new drug they've just prescribed.  (Bonus level:  You have enough of those cards to necessitate their own section in your coupon file.)  (Triple word score:  You know what your deductible is.) (Quintuple mega super word score: You know because somebody met it this year.) 

Gray hair that you treat with chemicals, or have a professional treat with chemicals.  (Bonus level: Gray hair ornery enough to require multiple chemical processes.)  (Triple word score:  You've quit it with the nasty, smelly chemicals, because there's just no point anymore.)  



  1. Ha. Yes. I've started making comments about my knees, or thinking about how it might not be easy to get down to OR up from the floor. Also, I have looked for "supportive" shoes. I have not yet complained about portion sizes in restaurants, but I've complained about how things used to cost less and contain more.

    1. Jenny (Bring A. Torch)December 4, 2014 at 1:05 PM

      Oh, I'm so glad you came by, Swistle! Man, what is it with knees?! They're so crunchy and vulnerable!