SNAQ Installment One

I just started this thing and exactly one person other than me has looked at it (thank you dearly, kind soul, whoever you are--come back and leave a comment and I will mail you some cookies or something), so I am not entitled to a FAQ. Hence the SNAQ section for SNarkily Asked Questions that I will pose to myself.

So, "Bring a Torch"? WTF?

It's...okay, look. It is neither revolutionary nor bad-ass. It's a danged Christmas carol, ok? And it's in French. And if you went to Catholic school like I did, and got French instruction beginning in 7th grade, you probably would have sung this song at your annual extravaganza of carols and inspiring readings. The song involves two girls, Jeanette and Isabelle, and they are supposed to bring a torch and tell the whole village that Jesus is born. Okay? Sheeze, I'm not even settled on the God thing, and my blog title is from a Christmas song. But...if you didn't grow up doing Christmas, maybe it will still sound tough. Whatever.

Ok, but why call your blog that?

Because I went through almost twenty pithy phrases and they were all either already taken, or too general, or too obscure, or too close to profanity, or too Viennese, and I really wanted to get started, and my husband was tired of hearing pitches. He came up with an adorable name that I absolutely love, but I don't have the stones to use it because it's vaguely reminiscent of certain slang terms that, um, anyway, maybe I'll tell you about it sometime.

Whatever. So, how many times have you taken the bar?

I sat for the bar and failed it, in February 2006, July 2006, and February 2007. Then I kind of had a fit and threw out the state-specific materials.

I studied for the February 2008 administration of another state's bar but pulled out the Friday before because I knew I wasn't ready.

And then I sat for that state's bar in July 2008. There's some variation by state, but results for February exams come out in April or May, and results for the July exams come out around Halloween. If that sounds completely, unbelievably horrible, that's because IT IS.

Damn, woman. Are you completely insane?

Pretty much. I don't know exactly what my current diagnosis is but it probably includes ADD, generalized anxiety disorder, and major depression. And maybe some OCD and social anxiety.

No, I mean, why do you keep taking the bar?

Because I feel like I have to at least try practicing law before I give it up and try something else.

Why are you up at 1 a.m?

Because I'm on a stimulant for the ADD and I slept really late today so I didn't take my pills until noon.

Uh-huh. Do you always talk in run-on sentences?

Pretty much.